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NAF Facts


NAF Facts First appeared in...
As you know, attacking a fallen player is strictly prohibited (for all the difference it makes..). However certain players with reputations for killing the opposition have become very frustrated at not being able to claim fallen skeletons as Kills For and have taken to reducing the bones to powder as proof of the kill. Of course, it isn't always possible to tell Skeletons apart, so we can't tell if Tomolandry is still able to piece them together. As long as he keeps quiet on the subject, NAF statisticians are going to continue to be in confusion Stars
Elves pride themselves on doing everything to perfection. They also believe in acknowledging their achievements. Therefore, Elves make more awards to more players than any other race. It is possible to win Most Aesthetic Pass, Best Victory Celebration in the End Zone, Best Dressed Hair (post-game) and Best Post-Match Party awards, while statistical records include Most Kills From A Single Blow, Longest Range Kill, Heaviest Match Programme and the Elf Lord's Commendation for most Spectacular Offensive Magic - an award which was won last yaer by the hurricane-summoning Gladiators Magical Co-Ordinator Stormbrew Highcloud Stars

Never mind tempting Jeremiah Kool out of retirement - have you heard of the new Dark Elf sensation, meriann Lightning? Various teams have been queuing up to pay a fortune to the Naggaroth Nightwings after Lightning was the only player to come through the door in this year's Crush!

Despite the many offers he has recieved, it seems no other teams have yet been able to tempt Meriann away from the Nightwings. He just couldn't refuse Naggaroth's guarantee of two fatalities every match - even if this means the Naggaroth cheerleaders become a little short staffed.

Can it be true? That a game is still going on a decade after the Kick Off in the Underworld League (West) between The Frozen Phantoms and the Dark Elf side White Bay Arrows. Following a three day effort to get 90,000 frenzied arrows fans into a cave barely large enough for the pitch, the game started with the usual problem for the ethereal Phantoms - they couldn't touch the ball. However, their spellcasting coach has reputedly made all the Arrows and their supporters ethereal too! Thus far, no-one has scored, no-one has been hurt, no-one has even made contact with anyone else... in fact, the ball deflated after the first year... The game will pause to celebrate is tenth anniversary later this season. Stars

True conoisseurs of the running game will be devestated to learn that 'Speccy' McGroan has been cut from the team by the Evil Gits for the 2488-89 season.

'Speccy' who achieved a life time best of 9 fumbles against the Creeveland Crescents last year, was one of those truly incompetent cretins Blood Bowl needs if it is to retain its prime-time status. 'Speccy' set up some fantastic scrambles for the ball with over 30 fumbles last year.

Asked about the cut, Evil Gits coach Bargull Whipdeath said "e diserfed it, so i cutz 'im from 'ere to 'ere".

This might just be jovial banter, however since it is understood by this reporter that the Middenheim Marauders have paid 20,000 Crowns for 'Speccy' ... to play for the Chaos All-Stars.


It has often been asked, what do sponsors gain from deals with Blood Bowl teams? At its simplest, a sponsorship deal may just entitle the sponsors to free tickets to their team's games - and they can be as valuable as diamonds if that team makes the playoffs. In other cases, sponsors pin their hopes on getting extra business through being associated with with a successful team - that was certainly what Wolf Runner Coaches hoped for when they signed a big deal with the Icecastle Wolves (and what a dissapointment they must have had...).

But most sponsors are just fans of the world's greatest game. As one businessman put it: "When you've been killing the opposition all week in the office, it's good to look forward to a night of entertainment you can take the whole family to". That's why the big-money sponsors will pay thousands of Crowns, just as the Metalworkers Guild did to the Dwarf Warhammerers this season. As one spokesman put it: "Maybe we're just as crazy as they are!"


What chance do the Halflings have of ever fielding a Blood Bowl side? What chance do they stand of ever even winning their division?

To understand the answer, you need to understand how the NAF league organises the fixtures schedule. The 40 teams are grouped into their two conferences and eight divisions, but they can play any other NAF team during the season. So long as they complete exactly 16 fixtures (by complete we just mean arrange... at least twenty games a season are forfeited when one team doesn't turn up), each team can play anyone it likes so long as it plays each team in its division at least once (that's each other team, Hobgoblin fans!) and doesn't play any team more than twice. Actually this rule is often waived. As the Dwarf Giants would put it, "when we get to them for the third time, they ain't the same team".

Fixtures are organised at a pre-season meeting of the owners. Each brings 16 team socks (or other apparel, in the case of Halflings) to be exchanged for the other teams socks in a frantic meeting. As you might expect, ambitious teams try to arrange a fixture schedule against the weakest opponents possible, which makes the Hobgoblin Team, the Rats and the three Halfling teams very popular. Another consideration is the attractiveness of the opposition; a game agains the Cowboys always draws the fans! Bribes, violence and magic are used to influence the swapping of these socks, and the meeting often lasts for several days until any manager can leave with his sixteen opponents mapped out.

After years of receiving weighty bribes (some of which couldn't be eaten), last season the Stunted Stoutfellows managed to get themselves a fixture list which included three games against the Hobgoblin Team, two against the Scarcrag Snivellers and one against the Rats. They won 5 games - matching the club record - and came fourth in their division! Scale that up three or four times, and you can see how they could become a mighty force in the AFC west in three or four decades.

It's an unfortunate part of the game, but there has been a trend recently for teams to abuse the rules concering Violence Towards A Player Who Is Injured. As you know, attacking a fallen player is strictly prohibited (for all the difference it makes...). However certain players with reputations for killing the opposition have become very frustrated at not being able to claim fallen skeletons as Kills For and have taken to reducing the bones to powder as proof of the kill. Grimwold Grimbreath was sent off last year for spending twenty minutes atomising a Champions' Lineman (which led to him increasing his Referees Killed tally by 3 in protest). Of course it isn't always possible to tell skeletons apart, so we can't tell if Tomolandry is still able to piece them togehter or not. As long as he keeps quiet on the subject, NAF statisticians are going to ocntinue to be in confusion. Stars
The Lustria Croakers are, once again, this seasons most sponsored team. Quite apart from their multi-million deal with Croak-a-cooler, they have contracts with several running shoe manufacturers, a major car recovery company (whose catch phrase is "we found a wreck and toad it away") and the publishers of the banned book Fly Catcher is making the best seller lists everywhere. Stars

Last season's record for the Best Individual Single Game Catching (paces) was made at the Vynheim Valkyries' Longship Stadium. Unfortunately for the Valkyries, the record was made by the albino Osgar Vilechuck, star Catcher of the visiting Gouged Eye, with an amazing 241 paces (the NAF record). Vilechuck caught 6 bombs of 30 or more paces in this outstanding performance, particularly impressive as the Longship Stadium was knee-deep in snow.

Valkyries' coach Mad Jake McDead disupted the record, complaining that his players couldn't see the albino Orc after he stripped off his uniform! The record stands but, alas, Vilechuck got frostbite waiting for a seventh bomb and caught only 1 more ball all season.

One of the best sequences of victories in the history of the Asgard Ravens came during the players strike of 2477. The Ravens won 5 out of 5 during this period. The owners had tried to draft in extra players, but failed, ans were forced to field the Valhalla Chorus - the team's Cheerleaders. As a member of the Lowdown Rats out it: "We don' mind geddin' a beatin' sumtimz, but does wimmin was danjerus!" Stars

In 2435, the Dwarf Giants lost 9 great players when they first list a fire in the dugout to get warm, which melted that side of the pitch then performed a victorious 'high five' in the End Zone after scoring, which tipped the floe over.

Norse stadia are now subject to mandatory safety checks.

Which kind of Weres make the best Blood Bowl players? This argument has been raging for quite a while, and we're not about to disagree with anyone who holds a strong opinion about it once a month... Strangely, given they are by far the most numerous type, if you were to say Werewolves you might be barking up the wrong tree. Though good all-rounders, they can't beat Werecats for speed or Werebears for strength. Very few Weres make good Throwers, since they invariably chase after the ball and bring it back once its thrown; similarly, there have been few good catchers, except those who have had their teeth removed. Stars
The Old Faith's Weather Forcasting Sub-Committee voted the Chaos All-Stars the Best Excuse for Errors in Forcasting after the All-Stars' match at Vynheim had to be postponed when the temperature reached 95o and the pitch melted. The All-Stars claimed it had nothing to do with them but there were doubts - despite the forecast for sub-zero temperatures and heavy snow, the Chaos lads turned up in shorts and shades! Stars
'Dapper' Dagger Longshanks claimed to be the only Chaos Dwarf in history to like Elves. He even hired an Elven marching band to play at his testimonial, though these - tragically - disappeared on the way there. Shortly afterwards, 'Dapper' began his retirement, opening a musical instruments shop. Who says the bad guys never change... Stars
A large number of current NAF-registered Skaven players come from the same college - Darkthunder High - which is reputed to be on a huge warpstone deposit. Exact figures are hard to come by, since head-counts tend to inflate the figure, but it is known that Darkthunder High spends more on uniforms than any other college. Of course, it must cost a bundle making alterations for all those extra arms, legs, tails.. Stars
Snotlings aren't unaware that the other races mock their prowess at Blood Bowl. Mostly they don't care much: "Dey gets crumped jus' as bad as we duz - an' dey gots furder ta fall!" But some Snotlings do show a pride in their work, and do anything they can to improve their play. Smeggy 'The Glider' Marshjuice had a tailor rig his uniform so that it had wings under the arms, and he managed to take the ball 156 paces in 8 carries against the Scarcrag Snivellers.

Sadly, an Elementalist in the pay of the Galadrieth Gladiators ended a promising career when he called up a strong wind and sent Smeggy on a tour of all the arenas in Norsca!

'Hungry' Massif Bofine, the Brettonian Minotaur, was the heaviest player ever in a Blood Bowl final, playing for the Middenheim Marauders in 2469. Weighing in at a huge 410lbs, he made an immediate impact on the game by sitting down rather suddenly on the bench in the Dug-Out and catapulting three team-mates out of the arena. After a slow start, he then began a sweeping destruction of anything he could find; three more team-mates were injured, and then he brained the ref with a leg bone he was gnawing when the official got too close. Finally, his appetite got the better of him just as the Marauders looked set to score, and he ate the ball - and the player holding it.

In fact, the only thing he left alone was the Severed Heads team. The explanation for this was that they were all covered in mustard - something Bofine couldn't stand. The Heads won 3-0.

Most Officials Killed In One Game (unofficial estimate): 89. In the furore after a disallowed Grim Axebreakers Touchdown in a pre-season friendly against Real Tobaro in the Estalian League, Vizgrak Pigczit, an import from Kislev's Praag Changelings, ate all nine referees on duty. He then ate the NAF Referees Inspectorate, everyone in the NAF Hospitality Marquee and then the official statistician. That ended his official run at 45, just two short of Vurner Vinkler's all-time record, but he is known to have caught at least another four dozen from the Annual Referees Outing before they left the stadium disguised as priestesses.

Zkurf Manglemann holds the Spike! magazine Gold Commendation for the Most Unfairly Disallowed Touchdown. Cut into four pieces by an illegal tackle by Ivan 'The Scythe' Deathshead of the Champions, Green Face Blocker Manglemann still carried the ball into the End Zone, hopping on one leg and holding the ball in his teeth. However, because the two arms blocked opponents downfield, and the other leg kicked a referee to death, the TD was over-ruled. Why? The refs said that it was because Green Face had too many players on the field!

Wayward Bluchen Beserk Kicker Sigurd Tropfentor was so anxious to improve his accuracy when kicking that he had one of the other players hold the ball for him. This technical innovation did not catch on when Tropfentor finished the season having still only completed 25% of kicks, having killed 3 and injured 6 teammates and seeing 12 holders trampled into the ground by grateful opponents. Comp
Some NAF Kicking records.

Longest Kick-Off: 406 paces, by Ice Giant Kicker Cloudgirth Mountainhips, vs the Vynheim Valkyries, Norse Challenge Cup, 2485. A spectator watching another game was killed by the ball.

Longest Kick Landing in Play: 88 paces, by Darkside Cowboys Kicker Venom of Praetia, vs Asgard Ravens, 2487.

Longest Kick-Off Return: 62 paces, by Reikland Reaver 'Fast' Ben Jansen, vs Elfheim Eagles, 2486.

Most Players Killed by Booting (Season): 12, by Gouged Eye Kicker Trok Elfsplitter, 2487.

Most Players Killed by Booting (Single Game): 3, by Dwarf Giant Grimwold Grimbreath, vs Lowdown rats 2485.

One of the reasons that some creatures aren't alllowed to play in official NAF games is that they just can't seem to comprehend all of the rules. In an exhibition game against the Treetown Wolverines, the Oldheim Ogres dismantled the goalpost by having a player grab each of the uprights and making a wish. They them proceeded to do the same to Johnny Atra, the Wolverines' Star Kicker. The Ogres were not invited to join the NAL Comp
Of course, if you play in any league but the NAF, then you can never take hold of the most famous trophy of them all - the Blood Bowl. But some other leagues offer some impressive awards. The Barfleys Albion League Champion receives a golden cup, studded with diamonds and crusted with emeralds. Since it was stolen in 2415, it has been replaced by a temporary tin replica. The Worlds Edge League offers the winning team's owner the right to command Dwarven armies in the field for a year. The Halfling-dominated Moot League has a different trophy every year - its always edible. Only the 'Obgod Tribal Leeg doesn't have a trophy, since its pointless to try and arrange for two Goblin teams and a trophy to be in the same place at the same time. Comp

How do teams become part of the NAF set-up? The NAF has kept a strict limit on the nmber of teams in the league since 2450, when it took its presetn shape. However there have been changes in its composition since then. One of the most recent teams to drop out of the team was the Wuppertal Wotans, who were wiped out by a freak lightning strike before a vital AFC play-off game in 2483.

The vacancy was filled by the Icecastle Wolves - part of the NAF's policy of keeping the league's racial/social/geographic balance roughly the same over the years. This is intended to keep other teams from arranging little accidents to create vacancies in the league, although there are obviously still plenty of other reasons for a team to have another wiped out!


It's an expensive business setting up an NAF franchise. Valhalar Galante, who in 2648 combined the Dar-Ellerath Beechtrees and the Ashvale Valar to form the Elfheim Eagles, was a master of the art of financing a new team. Foreclosing on a mortgage and engineering a successful hostile takeover (non-accountants would call it a war) gave him controlling interest in both teams. He bought the Vale Arena from a thrid Elven team following the collapse of an Elven insurance cartel.

He then sold his most experienced players to another new Elven team (the Gladiators), auctioned off both of the other stadiums (which were converted into open-air markets) and hired Perellian Ashblade to build a strong, young team. Finally, he spared no expense in acquiring a powerful mage to act as the team 'masseur'.

Despite these tremendous outlays of cash, Galante recovered it all when he bet 200,000 GCs on the Eagles to beat Nurgle's Rotters in Blood Bowl XX. He got 15-1 odds, and the rest is history (and totally tax-free).

One of the most bitter rivalries of all time stands bewteen Tomolandry's Champions of Death and theWestside Werewolves. Actually, it's less of a rivalry and more of a domination - by the Weres.

Over the years, the Werewolves have run off with essential parts of over 200 of the Champions' Skeletons. In recent seasons, Tomolandry has refused to even play against the Westside team, claiming that he would rather forfeit one game against them than have his entire team decimated for the remainder of the season.

Recently, an archaeologist named Montezuma Smith stumbled across the garden bed in which the Werewolves
had buried the coveted bits of Tomolandry's ex-players. Smith immediately turned around and sold his find back to the Champions for a whopping two million Gold Crowns!

The finest of the ex-Champions have been banded together under Tomolandry's star apprentice Jocko O'Maddin
to form the Tombstone Terrors, the first Undead touring team. The re-energized Terrors have been taking the opposition to their graves and have been so successful that there are rumours that Tomolandry is thinking of forming an all-Undead league!

Some Teams that Failed
The largest team ever raised was the Dark Mountain Spiders of 2338-2342. The Spider King Clakkataulak, found a vein of gold in his mountain lair and signed up all eligible arachnids in his kingdom! Over 900 were registered with the NAF.

The Spiders weren't a great success, despite their size. Even with eight limbs, they never mastered the throwing game, and their predictable 'scuttle' attack was quickly found wanting against the Warhammerers' 'steam-roller' tactics. By the time the team was abandoned in 2342, there were only eight players left.

The Black Mountain Marauders were also disbanded after owner Baron Kurt Herzgerworden promised to cover the team in gold if they won the Border Princes Senior Cup. They did, but only thanks to Hill Giant Freebooter 'Slim' Thorn. Kurt couldn't pay up and hasn't been heard from since.

Some teams have been more able to use traps effectively than others in the past, and some have had more than their share of hard luck. The Albion Assassins used a particularly effective trap against the original Scarfaced Scavengers (their present incarnation is their fourth) way back in 2468.

Wary as ever, the Scavengers took the field only after scouring the pitch for hours before the match. Weren't they surprised when most of the field (except the section the Assassins were standing on, of course) dropped away into a bottomless pit!

The third version of the Scavengers also fell prey to a most devious trap. In a game versus the Naggaroth Nightwings in the Wings underground arena, the Dark Elves lined up without any armour! The drooling Dwarfs took the field, only to find themselves abruptly pinned to the pitch as a powerful magnetic force slammed them and their armour into the dirt.

Evil Knut of the Asgard Ravens is still the holder of one of the more unlikely NAF records. From 2469-2474, over a period of 40 games, he set off 113 traps without sustaining so much as a scratch. In fact, the Ravens got so used to Knut's good fortune that their opening play in every game was to have him wander around the pitch setting off spear traps, opening pits and making the arena safe for his teammates.

Knut finally met his end when the Warhammers went for broke and mined half of the pitch with explosives. It wrecked their entire arena, killed 7 of their players and brought down the wrath of the NAF, but the Warhammerers were still happy with their choice. "There is no Knut too tough for us to crack," boasted a spokesman (it actually says "a spokesmen" here, but I guess that was a typo) for their owners.

Due to runaway Machineries of Destruction, the Chaos Dwarf Black Death team of the World's Edge Superleague has yet to finish a season with any surviving fans. The Black Death players don't seem to care, though, as they proudly hold the all-time record for Most Spectator Casualties! Comp
The longest sustained pogo of all time was by Creepers’ Fanatic Skarp Sorehead, who became hypnotised by his constant rhythmic bouncing and pogoed right out of the Middenheim arena. Officials tracked his progress for a while but lost count at 11,234 paces (the Creeper’s statistician had given up at zoggin’ lotz’n’lotz) – Sorehead was last reported heading for the sea near Luccini. WD109
The highest pogo ever is a disputed call between Lowdown Rats’ Ardo Snakebite and the Evil Gits’ Dag Gobguzzla. The Rats’ claim comes from a match against the Gouged Eye when Ardo pogoed into a trampoline pit; he was later found outside the stadium embedded to the waist in a cess pit – unfortunately, this lucky soft-landing did Ardo no good as he landed head-first and quickly died of suffocation. Gobguzzla, on the other hand, was propelled high above the field of play by landing on a concealed mine during a game with the Warhammerers. The Gits maintain that some parts of Gobguzzla went far higher than any part of Snakebite – the Rats counter that on average Gobguzzla did not attain the record-breaking height as most of his bodily organs failed to even leave the arena and ended up splattered all over the jubilant fans. Neither Ardo nor Dag were available for further comment. WD109

Gort Kindersnap is the longest-serving Ref currently active. The ‘Grand Old Man of Blood Bowl,’ as he is affectionately known, has reffed over four complete games!

During that time, Gort has sustained three concussions, two fractures and one conviction for attempted murder.
Keep up the good work, Gort!


Interestingly, Dieter Hammerlash of the Mongrel Horde is one of the few players to have cast a spell without anyone noticing. Playing agains the Albion Wanderers in 2475 he succesfully cast a Frightmonger spell which would have given him the appearance of an enormous vile monster and generally caused his opponents to go weak at the knees... had he not, of course, already been an enormous vile monster elliciting that very same response.


Thanks to Nazgit, Mordredd and Torpor for helping to type out a load of these :)